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pissedachios:

pissedachios:

What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed?

oh sheet




geothebio:

pros to buying a pizza: pizza

cons to buying a pizza: buying




hohoholdthefuckupson:

silenthill:

*puts my bro’s dick in my hand*

see, its a metaphor. it’s only gay if i jack it

See, I never jacked it, only put in in the middle of my hand. It can turn me gay but I’m not giving it the power to. A metaphor.






"I tried to smoke pot for the first time when I was 14. Figured I could sneak a few puffs off my big sister’s little glass piece. Stuck it in my mouth trying to figure out which end I was supposed to smoke from. Tasted peculiar. Plus, I just couldn’t get how to work the thing. Eventually, I discovered that these smoking devices typically have a little indentation where the marijauna is supposed to go as well as a pathway inside of it which allows you to inhale the smoke. Glass buttplugs don’t have either of these, which is an important distinction."
-Gold in the reddit comments section. (via brispyedges)